Happy non anniversary to me

Well today is my 14th wedding anniversary and instead of being happy I am pretty miserable. My husband has decided he no longer wants to be married, thinks he needs half of any money we have and has gotten us in to such a bad state financially that he can't move out and so he just sits around watching crime tv and checks out. I am just so overly emotional...overly tired and just am totally lost......this is not what I bargained for and it is not what I wanted for my kids but if he is going to be like this, that is no good either. Apparently it is up to me to do everything, as usual....amazing how he doesn't want me but takes advantage of the food I am buying and the cleaning and laundry that I do..........
the kids seem ok....i just feel soooooo guilty that they are caught up in all this....i try to keep it all together quite honestly feel like I am falling apart...i know it is because I am so tired and i saw a twilight, which had able 5 sappy movie previews before the movie...grrrrrr
it helps to vent some and tomorrow will be a new day...even if the sun will not be out :)

The big day

Christmas Day went well for the most part. The boys were totally happy with their gifts.....at this age lots of the surprise is gone. All Zac wanted was an ipod touch and Timmy wanted shoes, a wii game and a Clemson football jersey. Easy Peasy lemon squeazy......
My mom, grandmama came to spend the day with us...even though the turkey was spoiled, lucky we found out before we cooked it, we made do with chicken strips as the meat...what do you do, nothing is open on Christmas Day, which is a good thing.
Eddie was here, though not very engaged.....spent any of the time not eating, or gifting, on the computer. Oh, well. He totally hated the clothes I got him, so I will return them and give him cash.......
At least the kids are happy with what they got and that was a good thing because it rained alll day.....
Happy Happy

Merry Christmas

When I was a kid I used to get so worked up over Christmas, the tree, the presents, Santa coming, family, and the candlelight service at church. I have tried to have many of these same traditions for my own children, some have stayed, some not so much. My 11 year old, Timmy is such a kid at heart. I think he still buys into the whole Santa thing. We were tracking Santa on NORAD and I could feel his excitement. My heart is breaking because my family is falling apart. My husband wants not to be with me anymore. He says he is done. He has tried and I never listen and he wants out. He has moved into the spare room. I am pretty crushed right now. I want desperately to make this work for our kids. They deserve so much better. Financially we are in such a place where we really can't afford this. I never thought I would end up like this....or I would put my kids through this. They don't want to leave their house or change schools.
This is on top of the events of December 3, when one of our two dogs attacked and killed our precious family cat Oreo in front of my 11 year old son. He tried to help and couldn't. It was pretty awful. I took the dog to the pound to be put down(he had also go out of our fence and tried to bite a walker) and then had to take the cat to the vet to be cremated. Thanks to my mom who came to help since my husband was at work. They boys are OK about the dog but we all miss the cat. I feel like this is supposed to be a joyful time of year and all I feel is stress and more stress.
I wouldn't trade my kids for anything. They deserve better. I just don't even know where to go with all this and what to do........
Things should be good, Zac made the basketball team at Alexander, we both have jobs. I guess I just have to let him do his thing and see where the chips fall.

Where Have We Been

Boy, it had been too long since I last posted......lets see what has been going on.....Zac finished up fall baseball, all in all a good season, worked our way into starting and up in the batting order. Zac is a smart batter, getting walks, hits and rarely swinging at bad pitches and one of the best things is a good attitude even when the umps are calling crazy. Timmy also finished up baseball and had fun even though the team wasn't the best. We also started out journey of the orthodontist by getting an expander to widen our upper jaw....grrrr....I leave that job to Daddy. School is OK, Zac made honor roll and Timmy forgot to turn in work....ugh. So we decided to take a break from sports to hopefully get our school life in better order. Zac is trying out for the middle school team and if he makes it he will play. The boys are getting back into scouts now that there are no baseball conflicts. It is so frustrating that the kids can do the work and just don't get it in. I get making a bad grade because you don't understand but not because you didn't turn it in. My friend of teen age boys assure me this is normal and will soon pass...that helps but it is sooooo frustrating to me.
The dogs are driving me crazy as well as the cat, but hey who would know that after we rescued 2 dogs the drought would end and our back yard would turn into a mud pit......at least Zac will help me bath them and I bought a steam cleaner to save the carpets. They are fun when the weather cooperates :0
We spent Thanksgiving with Grandmama and the Foster family ate the Pines...good food and nice to be with family. Hard to believe how fast time is flying. I am looking forward to a break for Christmas to hopefully get some things done around the house and get things back on track on many fronts.

Happy Birthday Timmy!!!!!

Hard to believe that 11 years ago you were born, completing our family. You came fast and early and haven't slowed down since :) I love your sensitive, creative and out of the box personality (though at times it wears me out). You are tons of fun and find joy in pretty much all situations. I hope you continue to grow up well and enjoy all the opportunities that are headed your way in the next few years. I always think back to you having to snuggle to fall asleep and rock rocking with you night night. I think I fell asleep with you in bed almost every night until you were almost 3. I miss those snuggle moments but know you have to grow up.

Mommy loves you very much.
xxxooooo

Happy Birthday Zac!!!!! A Teenager at Last

It is hard to believe that it has been thirteen years since Zac was born. What a crazy day that was...tropical storm and all driving to the hospital in driving rain:) the first of many to arrive at the maternity floor that night (actually early morning). Now you are 5'5" and almost pass your mother in height!!! I love the person you are becoming even thought you sometimes drive me nuts with not turning in your work on time. I am glad that baseball is going well for you and that you enjoy it so much.
I hope that the next thirteen years will be all that you want and bring you good things.
Thanks for being such a great kid!!!!! I love you bunches!!!!!

Where hads the time gone????

Things have been so crazy with school, baseball, homework, and life in general. The boys are doing well in school except for a few hiccups here and there when they forget to turn in work or do ALL the homework they have :0
Baseball has gone pretty well for Z, we seem to play most weekends, he did go camping one weekend and got to go to an elk farm and see elk. He said he had fun...even though he missed baseball. T's team is a work in progress, though they seem to have fun, they aren't the most accurate ball throwers which leads to numerous errors and lots of runs for the other team.
My job in busy with all the demands put on us by the administration and all the testing we have to do, even for 1st graders.....then taking the time to enter the data....grrrrrrrr....the kids in the class are pretty good, but it is a shame not to get to know them like I would like to with all the extra work we have to do.
October will continue to be hectic with the boys birthdays and more baseball. The weather has finally turned fall like :) I love love love this weather...no ac or heat needed.
At Z's last checkup he was 5'5'' and weighed 110...I can't believe it......probably by Christmas he will be as tall as me. T still is skinny skinny and gets on the scale and says how many pounds he has gained...probably the only one who gets excited about that.
Flu and virus' are going around like crazy, T ran a fever for 21/2 days but no flu or strep....he and I both got flu shots this weekend to try to avoid some of the problems......

We r still here...i think....

Well, we are definitely back to out busy lives......T started school on the 19th.....I went back the 13th for training and Z starts back the 25th......the boys are definitely ready...T is at a new school away from mommy for the first time....he is ok with that but I will miss him :(
to show what a small world it is his French teacher and I taught together 14 years ago in Atlanta...this in the same week that a student I had in 99-00 found me on facebook....she is a jr in college and in AK.....CRAZY. Z is definitely ready to go back and be social and baseball has started up again. T plans on playing to so guess where I will spend my time.......maybe I need a wireless card for practice????????
my mom has helped out this week taking the kids out to lunch so they are not stuck here all day while Daddy and I work......
T got a referal to the orthodontist ($$$$$$$) and needs an expander and then braces later on....I feel like I am bleeding money.....we put off the appointment for all the drama until late Sept/Oct so we can get our schedules in sync a bit before we add to the chaos......
My whole point of blogging was to keep up with things better and that is working not so well. I have done nothing with my beach pic and my mom and friend have sent me pic to look at and I not gotten to that yet...can I go on vacation by myself to get something done??????
I'll try to be better.................

Back to life, back to reality

T...the next Tiger????????

Z and L

All the kids at the tree:)

GRRRRR We had to leave the beach today and come home to our real life....not ready at all......but all good things must come to an end, I guess we would not appreciate the beach of we lived in vacation mode every day...

we had a GREAT week, from the deer to mini golf (mom and aunt broocks were so glad they had adult beverages) and lots of time at the water and peaceful walks on the beach.... it was also fun to see our childhood friends and their children, Z especially loved the twins who will be 3 in Oct. he is trying to make Lucy a Braves fan to the shock of her Mets loving family...he at least got as far as teaching her the logo :)

T and his cousin B had mostly good moments together, they are almost 11 and 7 and have lots in common (there brains think in crazy fun ways so they get along great).

So now we are home and getting ready to start school and work again......

Marvelous Monday at the Beach (with a deer suprise)

Look what we saw after dinner when we went to the beach!!!! They were walking and eating on the sand dunes and walking under the walkways!

We had a great day at the beach and a dinner fixed by Z.....yummy frozen pizza, but hey mom didn't have to cook :)

Finally the Beach

We had a good trip down to the beach and have already enjoyed the water. The boys LOVE the beach, swimming and playing in the sand...t asked why is pizza called pizza. why is water called water and why are words, words????? too funny, deep thought while making a sand structure....got to love it. T also helped make breakfast this am.......yummy rolls.......and of course bacon :) now hopefully before too long we will head down to the beach :)

The beach was FANTASTIC...the boys played in the surf, especially the fun tidal pool and T, as usual dug in the sand.....had a discussion with another boys about global warming and its impact on the beach...the other kid said there was no such thing and T said "yes there is"

we came up to eat just in time as the rain started and the thunder is rolling....perfect for chilling and relaxing...so glad we are here

Finally Friday and VACATION!!!!

We have had a busy and eventful week at the Shaner house. First things first we got rid of the Chevy Tahoe which I really did love, except for the gas and got.......a 2006 Toyota Highlander Hybrid.....YEAH>>>>>the suv is loaded with all the bells and whistles and gets sooooooooo much better gas mileage, just in time for our drive to the BEACH!!!!! So as of today, the Tahoe is sold and the Highlander is mine and partially packed to leave tomorrow am :)
Wednesday I had a root canal.....yuck. It is not too bad but still really sore :( and it was really expensive, they at least had 12 month financing.
It has been very stormy this week, crazy thunder storms in the afternoon and evening. The grass grew like crazy, Z mowed it this am and washed the dog so he could go to teen night at the sports center tonight. Great to have the help!!!!
The kids and I are so ready to get to the beach and relax.....Daddy is really busy and may join us for a bit at the end of the week but we shall see. We will miss him but that is the way things just are.
The dogs are good, glad to be in the house when the weather hits but Meadow especially likes the mud.
Z and I have bonded over the Braves some more and are a bit stressed they lost 2 to the Marlins with questionable umpires, but hey the rocked last night and hopefully can pull some out at home before heading west.
So, I guess I need to get off the blogging and get some more things done for the trip tomorrow.
Hopefully the next post can include pics of the boys at the beach:)

Suddenly Sunday

I can't believe how fast the summer is going and for that matter that Z said he is ready to go back to school.......he misses the social part, not the work........we had a pretty relaxing weekend, saw the movie G-Force (in my opinion time I will never get back, but T liked it), and the boys hung out with Dawson next door and played games and outside. The dogs enjoyed having their pool (yes, they have their own baby pool) filled up since it was hot this weekend. I got the grass mowed, and cleaned and bought some more stuff for back to school. I hope to find a new car this week to save on gas and avoid having to buy new tires and sink some money in the car I have.

I also have Stellan heavy on my mind and also Kate and her cancer battle. It is hard to think of those families going through these situations and it makes me stop and appreciate my family more.

Rainy Days and Thursdays.....

We have spent the afternoon trying to keep the dogs out of the downpours.....somehow Meadow gets muddy everytime she goes out!!!!! The rain has been welcome. Thunderstorms are part of a southern summer.......now for the fun of mowing the grass this weekend:)
We finally have our internet and cable and phone all changed and the printer working so now I feel connected again. I got totally frustrated talking to the help???? desk and when I finally talked to someone I could understand I was in melt down mode....but that got me an appointment at no charge that same day!!!!!!
The boys have had fun going to a baseball hitting and exercise camp this week, my 12 yr old has now been trained on the cardio equipment at the gym and is trying it out.....we learn about the weights on Sat.
We head to the beach in a week and will be gone for a week and then it will be back to work....good and bad.....ready to start getting a regular pay check again but not ready for homework and schedules.....
I realize how much I love my kids...we all have "penguin" names.....Mort, Rico and I am Marlene.....the Braves have been winning so I actually am able to talk to my 12 yr old about something relevant...too bad they lost today but there is always tomorrow night...my 10 yr old has a crazy imagination and when he is just with me is still my little boy...
it is raining AGAIN!!!!!! guess it is time to wind down and get ready to sleep...

Hot, Humid and Where is the rain???

Happy Friday!!!! Well the guy came to change the cable and Internet and I am behind the 8 ball figuring how to do everything all over again. I at least have the Internet on my laptop but can't figure out how to get the kids computer working.....I guess Z can survive the weekend with no net. The next dilemma is figuring out if we get the Braves game tonight (or any night they play on Peachtree TV) Z is very disappointed but maybe we will have luck when I check at game time......too many stations and not the one I want....
At least we have AC...it feels so yucky outside..we had just enough rain to make things worse than they were this am (if that was possible)
Hope the other two are having fun camping:)

Off Camping

T and Daddy left today to go camp until Sunday.....when Z and Daddy went on this same trip they had crazy thunderstorms...guess what is in the forecast again :) they should have fun anyway......
the rest of the day has been pretty relaxing....getting some shopping and errands done...and car shopping(that part was not relaxing)...grrrr....trying to get a vehicle that gets better mileage and is a bit smaller, they are trying to not give me good money on my trade in so double grrrrrrr......so the saga will continue.....I'll give a couple other places a shot on a better trade in.
I was in line with Z today and he is so close to being as tall as I am. I figure by at least his birthday on Oct. he will pass me, especially as much as he has been eating, must be a growth spurt. I look at him and think of the ER Dr who said I would miscarry him at around 8 weeks I would love to find him now.

Linky

Here is the attempt at Mcklinky...................

My attempt at pics...............

Hey, it worked....here are some pics of the boys Monday night while watching the Home Run Derby....... The dogs were happy to be inside and playing...this is Meadow, Fenway is somewhere, probably trying to find the cat! Meadow loves this football shaped ball.....it squeaks so she is not allowed to have it at night....that and with her chewing she would probably eat it!

What A Learning Curve

This blogging thing is a wee bit challenging, but with the help of my savy 12 year old and the blessing of time as I am a teacher off for the summer I am figuring this our bit by bit.....now the next challenge is figuring out how to post pics......

Now to figure out what to buy to wear to my HS reunion the Sat.....don't want to think about the number but maybe how good we look for our age........should be interesting but I'll treat myself to a pedicure and new outfit to celebrate the day.

Now off to chase the boys off the wii so they don't have brain rot.........

Not Me Monday

I did not take down the ugly light fuxture in the dining room that my husband said to leave alone to spray paint black. I also did not scream when I was sweeping and found a mouse and get my husband to dispose of it as he was laughing. I did not make my children do a page in their summer workbooks on the WEEKEND.

Silly Sons on a Sunday

A non baseball weekend......it was strange not to be at the ball park......
We got some things done around the house...pressure washed the deck, tried to find all the damage the chewy dogs have done and all the treasures they have left all over the yard :)
Now if we could find the secret point of entry that mice have found ( I don't appreciate that surprise) so we can fix it and then I want to persuade my hubbie that spray painting the ugly light fixture in the dining room would be worth a try (he has all day training this week so maybe he won't notice if I do it myself).
This summer is going by fast!!!!! Not sure I am ready for it to be gone....
Timmy and Daddy have a scout camp out Thurs-Sun and I have my HS renunion (not really wanting to think about the number)
Now if the boys friends willl get back in town so they don't kill each other life would be better.

A somewhat rainy Thursday :) We need the rain but it should make baseball camp a bit interesting for Zac. He has had a good week at camp and gotten some tips on how to be a better player. The boys and Daddy went out in the yard last night and hit a tennis ball, playing their version of 3 person baseball. The boy had a blast and so did Daddy.
I have been trying to go through drawers in the house and organize all the stuff we have so we can actually find what we need when we need it :)
Timmy has just been hanging around the house, his buddies are not here this week and he has not wanted to get up to go to camp with Daddy.....he hid out yesterday so I would think he was at camp (ha ha ha) I did not find that to funny but tricky.
So here we are, July 9 and summer seems to be going fast.

The Bat Comes to Life

A good weekend of baseball, though the team went 1-3.......we really could have won 2 of those losses, but a few big hits did us in. The good news is that Zac's bat has finally come to life. He got 3 rbi's, hit by pitch and struck out and had a weird play with contact but an out. Now if we could just work on out speed :) It is so fun as the mom to see him play well. Also, neat because he has earned this chance by getting better!!!!!
We had a great picnic with the team on the 4th, along with fireworks.....good to be together in a nonbaseball situation. Now to get ready for the week.....Zac has baseball camp and Timmy should go with his dad to camp on a few days.

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY

We are getting ready for a weekend of baseball, cookouts and more baseball:) The joys of tournament ball!!!

The good news is I am making progress on all the fun little "fix it" things around the house now that school is out. I found tab top curtains on sale at Lowes :) Yeah $7.99 for a panel, so now all my curtain rods now have cutains, lets see if my husband even notices. I do need to get him to fix the door to the attic so it does not fall in:)