Our New Life

Well, we are in the new phase of our life. Eddie is moved out and we are now a family of 3. The week at school and home seemed to go very smoothly. Actually, I feel like a weight has been lifted and that there is much less tension. My workload even seems less. As for the boys, they seem ok. Finally met with Timmy's teacher and we got some things in place to help him be more successful. We had the Pinewood Derby at scouts today. His car did not do that well but he had fun. He spent lots of time with Daddy so he liked that. We had a surprise snow fall so that was fun for the boys and the dog. We have out rescheduled baseball team party Saturday night so that should be fun for Zac. It will be very weird for me and was being at the scout function. Partly because I feel really lonely today and then people are not aware of the situation and it is a stupid weekend of supposed romance of which I am sorely lacking today and tomorrow. Actually being at work gives me less to think about with that.
I really don't even know how I got myself in the situation I have with my ???? Dave. We have this amazing connection and it just feels so amazing to be with him. He has really gotten me through this past month and a half. Keeping me level headed and helping me realize what I deserve in a relationship. For better or worse we crossed some lines we shouldn't have which is really messing with me. He is married which complicates things obviously. He has had issues in his marriage and we both feel this amazing connection but for me it means I just get these bits and pieces when it works and then I am all alone again. We are supposed to get out of town this coming weekend and after that I just need to force some kind of a decision. It is killing me not to be with him and the physical part is pretty amazing. I get that I had the ability to say no but really followed what he was willing to do which is no excuse. Grrrrrrrr really should just end the physical and then figure out if we could be friends. I feel like I need a friend who gets me.
Maybe I will get a grip as I move through this time in my life.
So that is where we are at this point in the journey.